Never Lost

 

I've been searching for my missing piece
in someone else's heart.

Only to find out, it's never lost

and been staying in mine

all this time.

There are moments in your life that you feel a sense of emptiness. You feel like you're on the verge of losing yourself. That hollow part inside you somehow affects your well-being. Learning how to deal with it requires acceptance that life is a journey that takes you to places you never imagined you'd be.  You take a path but you lose direction along the way. May it be the reason for a broken relationship, bad habits, career change, or a traumatic experience, you can bounce back and get yourself together. 

The missing piece lies in your inner self. No one can make you whole except you, the master of your mind and body. You have the power to transform into a better version of yourself. 

God's Perfect Timing

 

When life treats you so unkind 

and you feel like nothing works well 

in your favor, be patient. 

God's timing is always perfect. 

He may not give you what you need now 

but in His time, He will deliver 

the best that you deserve.

You thought you did your best but not good enough to obtain your goals. You thought you have better plans to prosper but things don't work out the way you expect them to. So frustrating, too disappointing that sometimes you feel hopeless. But God knows your heart better than you do. He will give you what you need and not what you want in His perfect time. 

Not Even Once

 

Here I am, 
waiting to be loved by someone
like you who never lay an eye on me...
not even once.

Unrequited love is like a star glitteting in the vast evening sky. It's beauty is distant and unreachable that you can only gaze from afar. 

Farthest

 If I could reach the farthest part 

of your heart to win your love back...

I would never let any hurdle 

 block my way.

We can do anything and everything in the name of love.  If you truly, madly, and deeply in love with someone, surrendering is not an option. No matter how hard things can get, it's always worth giving it all just to win back the love of your life.

Reason

 

You let go of me not because

I am not worthy of your love

but because I deserve more than 

what you can give... 

There are a million reasons why two people fall out of love and drift apart. It's never easy to let go and move on with a broken heart. It's a long and painful process and sometimes, wounds get deeper in time that forgetting is even harder. 

What is Adenomyosis?

In order to fully understand the term Adenomyosis, let's take my case for example. Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with this condition. This is the result of my ultrasound dated June 28, 2014. Since it was an illness I had, long time before my menopause finally hit me, it's better to share the experience with women like me, married or single.

 

MYE DOMAIN ENTRY

July 6, 2014

If I remember it right, I've never had abnormal menstrual flow. My monthly period comes on a regular basis but last month, I experienced prolonged menstrual bleeding. I felt so apprehensive that's why, on the eve of my birthday, I have to see an OB-Gyne for consultation.
 
Since my former OB is now in Canada, my records are being turned over to Dra. Joanne V. Legaspi. She's also affiliated with The Medical City and Ardi Health Care Center. Dra. Legaspi advised me to undergo TVS (Transvaginal Ultrasound) for an accurate diagnosis of my condition.

I took the ultrasound immediately. Thanks to my hubby who's always willing to accompany me in times like this.


DIAGNOSIS:

• NORMAL SIZED RETROVERTED UTERUS MILD ADENOMYOSIS
• THIN ENDOMETRIUM
• NORMAL RIGHT OVARY
• CYSTIC FOLLICLE, LEFT
• NO FLUID IN THE CUL DE SAC

I've been diagnosed with mild Adenomyosis. I had it long before my second childbirth but, I didn't feel any discomfort until I had this symptom of prolonged menstrual flow.

Opening Prayer On Lizette's Debut 2013

MYE DOMAIN ENTRY

December 4, 2013

Every milestone in life is a remarkable event... an occasion to celebrate and be grateful for. Nothing is worthier than appreciating God's blessings and praising Him everyday. Either in joy or sorrow, we close our eyes... kneel down to ask for guidance, and utter our intentions.

The most anticipated day has come. November 16, 2013, marked the 18th birthday of my daughter.

As we shared a momentous night in her life, we offered a prayer to ask for the Holy Spirit to come upon us and bowed our heads in God's divine presence.

Claire Dave Ellis

The opening prayer was delivered by:

Claire Dave Ellis Magos, a younger cousin of our debutante, currently in 7^th Grade at La Immaculada Concepcion School. Their closeness goes beyond being cousins because Lizette treats her like a baby sister.

THE OPENING PRAYER

"GOD of all creation, worthy of our praise, we are grateful for Your presence in this evening’s celebration of life. We thank You for this opportunity in bringing us together and share a glorious event that marks the 18^th birthday of LIZETTE.

Oh Heavenly Father, You are the source of all our strength. May you bestow upon us Your Divine Grace. May You bring forth success in this night’s activities and guide us as we partake in this festive occasion.

All of us here tonight share the same prayer for LIZETTE, that she may achieve her dreams and aspirations in life. That God will grant her the realization of her heart’s desires and blessed her with abundance... may it be financial or spiritual.

May our Loving and Generous God, offer her the virtue of kindness, patience, honesty, understanding, perseverance and all the goodness that may be pleasing to others and most especially, to Your holiness.

We thank You for giving her 18 years of blissful yet challenging years. As she enters another fruitful phase in life, guide her way leading to the righteous path and protect her against imperfections that may hinder success and true happiness.

We praise You, Lord for surrounding her with love from family, relatives, and friends. Their presence in her life makes the person she is now. They are the wind beneath her wings. They will always be there to support and direct her journey through life. 

Tonight, we ask for Your ever-gracious hand to bless every gift to be offered and sanctify every wish to be uttered.

Almighty God, fill our hearts with Your love, faithfulness, and mercy as we gather in Your Name and bless the meal that we will share in this joyful evening.

We entrust all our prayers unto You in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ, AMEN."

Kiko's First Visit to the Dentist

MYE DOMAIN

July 29, 2014

I guess, everyone had experienced a disturbing toothache. This condition is so annoying that we can hardly endure the terrible pain it caused. How much more if a 5-year old kid suffers from this unbearable soreness?

Kiko's First Visit to the Dentist

Kiko has been complaining about a recurring pain in his decayed right molar. Brushing his teeth and taking paracetamol somehow gave him temporary relief. The pain persisted and kept him up for two consecutive nights. My husband and I encouraged him to visit the dentist to check on his aching tooth and he agreed.

July 27, Sunday morning was Kiko's first visit to the dentist. I knew he was a little apprehensive but Doc Ric's warm and friendly approach made Kiko very comfortable.

I thought he's not yet ready to sit on a dental chair but I underestimated the braveness of this young kiddo. He's cooperative that's why Doc Ric was able to perform two temporary fillings successfully with less effort than usual for a toddler his age.

No tooth extraction was advised because it's too pre-mature for the removal of a baby tooth that will guide the permanent to come out in due time.

My Daily Routine

MYE DOMAIN

February 25,  2013 

Waking up with a list of tasks to undertake

has become a daily routine.

These must be performed

otherwise... everything will pile up

and if chores accumulate...

the BIG "S" (stress) will take over my system

and my asthma attacks will follow.

This is a chain reaction and I have no

other better alternative but

to get things done and over with.

My workplace starts in the bedroom,

then in the kitchen, dining, living, bathroom

practically.. all around the house
or even out like in the bank, supermarket, and drugstore.
I still have online activities
that need my attention as well.

FIRST things first... prioritize...

Be organized

PATIENCE 

overcome hassles

ignore tiredness

and before I know it...

MISSION accomplished !!!

TOMORROW

is another tiring but rewarding day.

I can hardly wait for
WEEKENDS
to come.
Oh! It may be time to have a break
but laundry is waiting for me.

Being a mom 24/7 is not only tiring but stressful. Getting the house chores done is no joke but at the end of the day, this demanding role will give you a sense of fulfillment. It's challenging yet rewarding at the same time.

GOD Almighty

 

We have our mind to acquire 

and share knowledge

We can only discover, invent, innovate

We can only utilize the resources available... 

tangible or not

We can only do our best...

our abilities have limitations

We can survive if we have the determination

We can fail if we 

don't believe in our own strength

We can make something 

out of nothing

But we can never 

SURPASS 

the

 POWER

of the 

ONLY SUPREME BEING... 

our 

GOD ALMIGHTY.

Kiko's Abstract Creations

MYE DOMAIN

December 7, 2014

These are some of Kiko's abstract creations. His love for drawing using crayons is just fascinating. Almost everyday, he would get his sketch pad and starts to do random designs. He draws outline of any shape then fills them up with various colors.

His love for art mainly focuses on colors. he even asked me to give him a present this coming Christmas. He wishes to have 96-colored Crayola crayons. He wants different shades. More crayons mean more colorful art pieces like these.

Heart Hearty Heart

Monster L

Candy House

He even provides titles for his artworks so, I have to document this little milestone of this little artist of mine. Maybe, 10 years from now, he will be interested in reading my blog posts about him and take him to a nostalgic recollection of his childhood.

"Song Cover: Walang Hanggang Paalam By DANLOURD"

"WALANG HANGGANG PAALAM"

A Joey Ayala Original

Song Cover By Danlourd De Asis

Di ba tayo'y narito

Upang maging malaya

At upang palayain ang iba

Ako'y walang hinihiling

Ika'y tila ganoon din

Sadya'y palayain ang isa't-isa

Ang pagibig natin ay

Walang hanggang paalam

At habang magkalayo

Papalapit pa rin ang puso

Kahit na magkahiwalay

Tayo'y magkasama

Sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

Ang bawat simula ay

Siya ring katapusan

May patutunguhan ba

Ang ating pagsinta

Sa biglang tingin

Kita'y walang kinabukasan

Subalit di-malupig ang pag-asa

Ang pagibig natin ay

Walang hanggang paalam

At habang magkalayo

Papalapit pa rin ang puso

Kahit na magkahiwalay

Tayo'y magkasama

Sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

Ang pagibig natin ay

Walang hanggang paalam

At habang magkalayo

Papalapit pa rin ang puso

Kahit na magkahiwalay

Tayo'y magkasama

Sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

Sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo oh

KIKO, At Five Years Old

MYE DOMAIN

June 19, 2014

Five years back, I glanced at this cute chubby face for the very first time. From day one up to this writing, he never fails to amuse me... the way he thinks and speaks out his thoughts, the way he moves and reacts to situations. He has this prominent character that makes our lives more interesting and tiresome at the same time.

Newly born KIKO

I was bound to be a mother for the last time with him and I will surely miss being pregnant and feel the first trimester hang-ups. Having three wonderful kids is a treasure itself. Being a mother is priceless.

Looking for a nanny is no longer relevant. I can't imagine anybody taking care of him other than myself. It's not that he's so dependent on me as normal kids do with their moms but, I guess I'm the one who is dependent on him.

A few weeks ago, he thought of sleeping with his Kuya KD. For the first time, he's out of our bed. My husband and I were unable to sleep soundly. Maybe, we are not used to be separated from Kiko at night. It seems that I am not ready for it, yet. I need more time to prepare myself for that kind of adjustment.

The 2-night trial ended when Kiko suddenly felt an ache in his mouth and he had to wake up in the middle of the night, knocked at our room's door just to tell me that he's not feeling well. That's when he got back to our bed and slept with us again. He needed me... he still longs for a mother's touch, my TLC.

Tomorrow is Kiko's 5th birthday. I'm still his 24/7 hands-on mom attending to his daily needs. I'm his fetcher to and from school. He's the very reason why I preferred to stay home and never worked corporately again. I want to witness every step he makes and always be there to guide his path. Actually, I'm enjoying my role as a full-time mother to my other two kids. Raising two teenagers of this generation is quite challenging as well.

 Browsing through old files, I stumbled upon this video:

1-year old Kiko learning to say grace before meal

Kiko with Olaf sitting cushion
(advance birthday gift from Ate Aya)

Effects of Chronic Parental Conflict

Marriage is a lifelong commitment of two individuals who are joined by a matrimonial ceremony. It is the process by which a couple makes their relationship public, official, and permanent. It's a legalized union of two people who vowed to live life together, forever. A contract that establishes the rights and obligations of both parties involved. But living together without marriage is definitely a different story.

My husband and I are not a perfect couple. We have had countless arguments but as much as possible, we refrain from doing it in front of our kids. Disagreements and misunderstandings are natural occurrences in any healthy relationship. However, frequent quarrels and fights can resort to saying hurtful comments and behaviors.

I guess, my husband and I fall under the common or normal parents with diversified opinions and ideas but with a respectful form of communication in dealing with conflicts and resolving issues.

I remember we had a neighbor couple who's living together with two toddler kids. This family seemed to have been suffering from Chronic Parental Conflict. They always fight about the same issues over and over leading to screaming, shouting, and hurting physically. Because of these constant squabbles, everyone in the neighborhood was being distracted. Unpleasant words were thrown and absorbed by the kids' young subconscious minds. Their confrontations are so disturbing.. so alarming that I even tried to address the matter to our barangay officials but unfortunately, they seem to have no power of intervention to such kind of domestic issue. The couple eventually got separated and the mother took the children's custody.

EFFECTS OF CHRONIC PARENTAL CONFLICT ON CHILDREN

1. Children Feel Insecure:  Because of the never-ending fights between parents, children are traumatized and frightened. They don't feel safe being at home experiencing such a difficult situation with threatened violence.
2. Children's Mental Health Is At Risk:  There is a great possibility that the children may suffer an emotional breakdown. Unresolved conflicts bring fear, anxiety, and depression to children that can severely damage their mental health.
3. Children May Lose Trust And Respect:  If the parents communicate without respect, the children are most likely to adopt a hostile environment where there is no trust, love, and understanding. They may perceive a relationship as something that is not worthy of sacrifice and kindness.
4. Children May Be Confused:  When parents fight, children are the shock absorbers. They are caught in the middle of two people who supposed to be their role models but actually, displaying unethical behaviors. Who is right? To whom they should take side? Do they have to choose who's the lesser wicked?
5. Gap Between Parents And Children:  A home should be a place of comfort and peace. If there is always domestic chaos, family members are disorganized, misled, and dysfunctional. The gap between family members may get wider when unresolved conflicts get worse. 
6. Children Having Weak Foundation:  Being exposed to long-lasting parental arguments creates an unhealthy atmosphere inside the house. Children are more susceptible to making mistakes thus contributing to a weak foundation of character. They tend to be self-centered, judgmental, and narrow-minded.

Every family has a fair share of unresolved issues and domestic problems. What's important is, there's open communication among the members, the reassurance of love for one another, respect for one's opinions, the courage to accept mistakes, the ability to listen to understand, and the willingness to take part in finding the solution.

What Your Heart May Say

 As humans who are rational in nature, we have the ability to comprehend and understand the definition of LOVE. We cannot describe it in only one word because of its complexity but we can express it in countless ways. Our mind can control our emotions but our heart may say otherwise.

Can you find your heart here?


GRATEFUL heart may say...
"My life has never been this amazing since you came into my world. You've accepted me for what I am and love me for who I am. Despite the past, you're here to stay."


GENEROUS heart may say:
"I love you more than myself. If you're happy with someone else, I'm willing to give up the fight and if ever you failed to seek the love I gave you... never think twice, I'm always waiting for your return."


REGRETFUL heart may say...
"I've been searching your love yet nowhere to find it. The treasure in your heart had beaten my pride. Now only memories are left to live with."


JEALOUS heart may say...
"It drives me crazy when you gaze upon someone with a sparkle in your eyes. I can hardly imagine how painful it is to see you giving special attention to anybody else other than me."


SELFISH heart may say...
"You're only mine and nobody can take your love away from me. I'm the only one perfect for you. I'm the only one who can provide you everything you need and everything you want. Nobody, nobody but me."


FAITHFUL heart may say...
"My eyes will never take a glance at any other charming face. My ears will never hear any whisper... It's only your lips will say I LOVE YOU to me. I will never savor any warm embrace other than your deep meaningful hug. Temptations are everywhere but my heart is locked and it's only you who hold the key."


CONTENTED heart may say...
"Let me keep you in my arms forever. Our love has survived the best and worst of the past and we're now living our present, enjoying every detail of it. I'm confident that we will share the rest of our lives together."


HOPEFUL heart may say...
"We had our own share of heartaches. Our past mistakes will serve as lessons that will guide us in our relationship now. Our love is a fresh beginning that will make memories not promises."


WISHFUL heart may say...
"I may not have that kind of love I ever desire but I know God will take me to the destiny I most deserve. My heart will continue beating until love will find its way."


If your heart says otherwise, what would it be?